Friday, October 26, 2007

signs point to yes

As most of the readers of this little shithole corner of the intertubes know, I have recently acquired a badass boat from an even bad asser fella, really dude, thanks again. It sits in my carport as of last night and the image hasn't left my mind once for roughly 19 hours 28 minutes and 30 seconds, it is a constant state of fuck yeah.

Along with the boat came a magic 8 ball, this fuckin thing is like a legend in its own right. So I promise her that I will ask her one question and one question only when we're off the water. I needed to know if she was happy in her new place. So I waited until we were alone, slid the 8 ball out of the side pocket and asked "Are you happy with your new home?", damnit I almost shit myself with the anticipation. Then I turned it over...."signs point to yes"

Life is Good.

Monday, October 22, 2007


I went fishing on sunday for fall salmon. I went dirty mcdirt style, fishing a shitty 20 dollar spinning reel on a shitty, 45 dollar, 9 foot ten weight (do I get additional dirt points for fishing dirty style with a fly rod?). Anyways, point is, there is a line that needs to be drawn which defines the point at which you shouldn't even go fishing until you get the right gear, or at least close to the right gear.

My main line on the above mentioned rig is 25 lb shitty ass braid, I was using 20 lb maxima leader and my main line broke every time I got a snag. I would have downsized leader, but I didn't have anything smaller along. Chalk up half my fishing time lost to re-rigging. Then I was pulling on one of said snags and I kept giving up line, but my drag wasn't turning. Upon closer inspection I realized that my line was free spinning on the spool, like, the spool to line knot broke and now the whole mass of it spins together. I was partially hoping I didn't hook one because I'd rather get skunked then get close and lose it due to bad gear. A stupid and self imposed paradox, to go fishing and hope to not hook a fish.

Then I hooked a fish. I was back bouncing a big ass gob of eggs, corky and 1/2 oz of lead down a current seam about 4 feet from the bank. The fish took, I set up and the fish gave a couple thrashes on top then settled into the main current, not doing much. Fearing the result of taking the fish down the chute about 60 feet below me I tried to backtrack upstream along the bank to get my net (note: don't leave your net upstream!). I went up and the fish ran out, which was fine, but then it ran straight down and in toward the bank below me, this is a bad place to be, directly upstream of a fish. I was fishing a small hook and was feeling a little worried about the hook set when the fish came to the top, its mouth pointed straight at me, and started thrashing around again. On the third head shake the line went limp. Fuck stick.

Anyone got a salmon bait caster set up they don't use anymore? Either that or I am going to Joe's this week, as I have a date with a fat salmon next weekend, and that bitch will be mine!

Friday, October 19, 2007

A Social Tip

This probably isn't rocket science, but if you ever play a little game called "Guess what that person does?" and the person or people in question actually talk to you at some point, and you actually ask them what they do, and they ask "Well what were your guesses?". I would highly suggest NOT leading off with "barista", just in case the person has had "ten years of higher education" and owns her own agricultural consulting firm. This is, however, just a tip...feel free to offend, its usually more fun anyways.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Another to pass the time

the video is of shitty quality, but pretty cool regardless. the fucking spawning bed is like 150x60 ft, thats a lotta salmon sex.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Winner: Couch

imagine that.

Monday, October 15, 2007


If I get off my lazy ass tonight and plug my camera in, there will be cool shit to look at on this blog, so keep your eyes peeled. But no guarantees, as the couch is far superior to the computer chair in comfort.

I will offer up a little love though. See the tidewater chromer that arrived on my screen via data packets. Sleazy neighbor nate shows his slyness and otherwise penchant for big, greaZy fish. Can you say ClouZer? Once again, nicely fucking done.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Billz are Bitchez

I recieved two bills in the mail today, both fucked up. Why do people insist on shitting on each other?

I have no reason to shit on you, State Farm Insurance. I pay you every month, automatically and shit, so even when I forget your sorry ass still gets paid. Yet you insist on attempts to poop in my mouth. Shit stains.

And you Dr. Sparks, you call that bullshit, two minute visit into the room a fucking exam? $51.00? Who the fuck do you think you are, the goddamn Dali Lahma of dentistry? I think not, bitch. Tell your secretary, or should I say "Administrative Assistant", to put her earmuffs on, cause there is an assault coming.

Oh well, the steelhead will still be there this weekend anyway, assholes. But get off my gas money!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Awwww, SNAP!

I have been back for two days now. I didn't update upon my return cause I was sort of waiting for things to really settle in. Steelhead are real bitches sometimes, like, diabolical even. I rose one to a dry fly, which is a fucked up experience in and of itself. If you have ever watched a fly skate across a thread of current, then slow in the seam, then get pushed forward by a swell of water generated by a chrome monster directly underneath it, well, then you know. My knees haven't shook like that since the first time I heard "do you have a condom?". Damn. One and only one but it was worth every minute and every penny.

Regardless of the lack of fish, the past weekend was one of the greatest fishing experiences I've had in awhile. The camp was rich with stories, legend and good ass food. Whiskey, salmon roe, smoked steelhead, elk soup, cream cheese, crackers and PBR never tasted so good. Being able to listen to a combined millenia's worth of fishing life stories is like reading a thousand books in a couple evenings and an experience that simply could not have been had anywhere but where we were. For that, I say, thanks to all and I can't wait to do it again.

Friday, October 5, 2007


You know that feeling when your about to do something super badass? It feels like your a kid again (not that I am that far removed), the excitement cannot be tamed and your completely fucking poised and ready to pounce. This feeling is most certainly desirable, attain it at all possible opportunities.

Thanks to storied rivers, steelhead and dry flies I will be riding this high for the next three days, with potential for extension depending upon said steelheads interest in said dry flies. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007


Photo credit: Kari Christensen
you gotta click and make this one big, it's worth it.

Intro Info

I figured I should let you know the blogs motive. I want three things from it 1) an easier way than email to communicate, bulk style 2) I think of shit that I want to write down sometimes, but never do, now maybe I will and 3) my writing sucks hairy balls and I figure practice can't hurt.

The title is almost solely in response to a line in a book I recently read, it is a book about steelheading, and though this is not a quote it went something like can tell a lot about how much someone cares for nature by looking in their fly box. It went on to say, basically, that if you have pretty flies, you care more about nature. This guy annoys me, much like poison oak annoys me, I think. I figure he wouldn't much care for a dirty, gaudy ass string leech too much, although he probably uses them, really pretty ones I bet. In addition, he is a cock, undermining other peoples contributions to NW Steelheading and touting his own (which may or may not actually be his to tout).

Thats it. Stay tuned.

Trippy Shroomage

The red and white mushroom is apparently a Fly Amanita. A mushroom used primarily in northern cultures for religious and other social ceremonies (so used for its hallucinogenic properties). The upside down shroom with "Doison" supposed to be poison written on it is some kind of blue staining bolete...they are fun to write on.

Poison Oak

Hey, poison oak, fuck you.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


Openers are usually good, can openers, fishing openers, grand open(ing)ers etc... It is likely, however that this opener won't be such. But an opener it is.